Heaven Knows
by say-chan
Summary: KoshOC .FINISHED. A girl who wanted something that she coudn't have... wishes, dreams and promises,,, do they even come true?
1. Prologue

~*~... Heaven Knows ...~*~  
  
by: say-chan  
  
~*~... silent assassin ...~*~  
  
pairing: Koshino / Kourin  
  
genre: hopefully a tearjerker, angst  
  
inspiration: Daijoubu from Boys Be, I Wish & Inoru Aishiteru from Fushigi Yuugi, Carry On from Hunter X Hunter (OAV) and Scarlet from Ayashi no Ceres  
  
Spoiler: This is so crappy. I mean it.  
  
Synopses: Fame, fortune, glory. One thing a geek like her could never have. But why is the world so cruel to her? Why are her loved ones so hard to reach? But it was proved wrong... Everything changed.**Kourin: Is fate playing with my destiny? Or is my destiny supposed to be ruined by fate?**  
  
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk belongs to Takehito Inoue and those songs above belong to their respective animes. [pic]  
  
  
  
~*~ ... Prologue - Memories ...~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
** Kourin **  
  
Damn this god-forsaken life. Ever since this day started, I'm feeling so much pain. Whenever I open my eyes to a new day, I feel so weak and useless to almost--- everything. And to everyone.  
  
I didn't know how God has forsaken me like this. No memory's left in my nerves--- my veins. Like pain, confusion and agony drained every single drop of it. All I know-- or even remember is that my father died in that stupid civil war and my mother was re-married, found a new life in Hokkaido and left me alone here with my grandfather in Kanagawa. That's that. All I could remember. That's what's left in my memory. That's all I know of my past.  
  
My mother left me, that's so clear. Damn it. I don't know why my life's just like this. Every time I wake up in the morning and go to school, I feel like hell. All the teasing and taunting--- it's--- it's just--- everywhere I look. Everything's just not new--- to me. Everything's just fine. But don't blame me. Now--- But now--- It just simply gets to me. Those sinister looks in their eyes as I pass by the hallways just--- make my heart melt like shit. I hate this stupid life. I--- hate it!  
  
Since what happened to me, I had been so alone. An orphan. Yes, I had been taunted and laughed at since kindergarten until middle school. I was hoping to have a new life--- a new identity when I reached the gates of Ryonan high school. But no... I was wrong...  
  
Nothing changed. The teasing and taunting of the people I knew and once wrecked my life with terror. The people I knew who had so much hatred buried in the depths of their hearts for me. Those people who covered my soul with such thick layers of fear and animosity. Those people who filled my mind despises and nothing but pure malice. Nothing--- nothing changed.  
  
There was so much pain and agony. There was so much suffering. There was so much--- sadness--- so much that I couldn't take it no more. I just couldn't understand why. Why was I feeling this much hatred? As if everyone wants me to disappear at the mere sound of my voice. That made me so--- weak--- so--- feeble. I just--- can't go on with this kind of life revolving around me. Like everyone hates me. Like everyone's life was better without mine.  
  
I wanted to kill myself. I wanted myself to disappear at this very minute. But why does God give this life to me and when I want it no more, I couldn't--- I just couldn't take it back to Him. Why? Why can't He just take my life just now? So everyone's life can be a whole lot better? Why? So that I wouldn't be a nuisance to my caring grandfather who I feel is the last person who even cares for me. So that he wouldn't worry about me crying all night when I return from that hell they call school.  
  
So--- I could join my father in the world of the Spirits. So I could be happy. But it seems like even God doesn't want me there. It seems like even God wants me to suffer these kind of things. Maybe He wants me here. To be a walking wanderer of Ningenkai. To be despised at by the next generation to come.  
  
I admit. It really gets to me. I even ask myself some really stupid questions. Why does it have to be this way? Why do I have to experience this much pain and hatred? Why does everything feel so--- so unreal? Why does everything just go against my will? Why? Why does it have to me who's got to be hurt in the end? Why do I have to live this tormented life? Why me?  
  
A/N: Prologue... I think it has to be confusion the title, I mean. I wrote this when I was so confused about my 'sad and tormented' life. But it's really true. I mean it. I'm feeling this way. Sorry if I exaggerated. Reviews badly needed... [pic] 


	2. Pain

~*~... Heaven Knows ...~*~  
  
by: say-chan  
  
~*~... silent assassin ...~*~  
  
pairing: Koshino / Kourin  
  
genre: hopefully a tearjerker, angst  
  
inspiration: Daijoubu from Boys Be, I Wish & Inoru Aishiteru from Fushigi Yuugi, Carry On from Hunter X Hunter (OAV) and Scarlet from Ayashi no Ceres  
  
Spoiler: This is so crappy. I mean it.  
  
Synopses: Fame, fortune, glory. One thing a geek like her could never have. But why is the world so cruel to her? Why are her loved ones so hard to reach? But it was proved wrong... Everything changed.**Kourin: Is fate playing with my destiny? Or is my destiny supposed to be ruined by fate?**  
  
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk belongs to Takehito Inoue and those songs above belong to their respective animes.  
  
  
  
~*~... Pain ... ~*~  
  
**Kourin**  
  
  
  
This is too much to take. I don't know. I'm so much confused. I know, I'm making my grandfather happy with those high grades of mine but what about me? It's just reciprocated with so much fear and suffering. Sociability isn't a problem. I know, I have the most wonderful friends ever in my entire life. But when those kind of people turn against you for no logical reason--- it makes me feel so... unwelcome... so--- uninvited. So wrong.  
  
My second year in this plagued high school life made it's way with so much uncertainty. I'm so confused. But people just turn away from me with those threatening eyes of them. Spitting at the mere sight of my shadow--- Vomiting at--- at the very mention of my name. 'Kourin's like this.' 'Kourin's like that.' It's so--- annoying.  
  
  
  
It has been distressing me since the first year and I don't think I can take it anymore. I feel like my head's just going to explode at this simple second. I can't take it any more. Why do I have to suffer all the curses that my mother heaved against me when I was so innocent and knew nothing about how this world could be so cruel to me.  
  
  
  
Why so I feel so alone? Why do I feel so empty inside? As if there's something lacking, something missing beneath all the suffering I've been feeling. Why does my heart beat so fast when I see him? Why does everything feel so right when he's there? Why does it seem like I've forgotten about everything when he speaks? But--- he's so hard to reach. Oh Koshino, how I wish you would notice me with just one single glance. What am I talking about? This is insanity.  
  
Dreaming of something that's out of my reach is so--- unrealistic. It has always happened to me. But why do we have dreams when they don't even come true? Why does it feel like you have nothing to gain? Why does life have to be this cruel?  
  
Why does the truth hurt? Why do bad things happen when it feels like everything's so great? Why does my heart have to be broken every time I feel this chill run down my spine?  
  
I haven't had enough. I'm like a walking shadow of the past. Returning and haunting every thing that I did before. Killing myself over and over again. I've been hurt by the flame countless times before, but why won't I stop? Why won't I stop being such a fool and enslaving myself in this stupid fire they call love? Why do I have to go back and experience so much pain the second time around?  
  
Is there really a 'they lived happily ever after' in my life? Is there really hope when everything feels so impossible? Is there really a light beneath all darkness? Is there really truth beneath all lies? And will it hurt when I know it? Is there really happiness after all sorrow? Do I really have to experience suffering before contentment?  
  
Everything is so blurred--- so unclear to me. I don't know if I want to quit and die or continue living my life like hell. I know I'm nuisance. I know I'm a burden. But why am I not doing something about it? Is it because I'm too weak to even try? Or too concious to even dare?  
  
Maybe because I'm too afraid to go on. Yeah, that's it. With all the experiences in my secluded life, I don't even want to move. Because I know there's something that will come. Something bad that will happen even with the mere hint of my presence. Why am I like that? Why am I doing this to myself? I don't even know. myself.  
  
A/N: Poor Kourin... But does she really deserve to live? I don't know myself. Please review. Tell me, do I have to continue? 


	3. Dreams

~*~... Heaven Knows ...~*~  
  
by: say-chan  
  
~*~... silent assassin ...~*~  
  
pairing: Koshino / Kourin  
  
genre: hopefully a tearjerker, angst  
  
inspiration: Daijoubu from Boys Be, I Wish & Inoru Aishiteru from Fushigi Yuugi, Carry On from Hunter X Hunter (OAV) and Scarlet from Ayashi no Ceres  
  
Spoiler: This is so crappy. I mean it.  
  
Synopses: Fame, fortune, glory. One thing a geek like her could never have. But why is the world so cruel to her? Why are her loved ones so hard to reach? But it was proved wrong... Everything changed.**Kourin: Is fate playing with my destiny? Or is my destiny supposed to be ruined by fate?**  
  
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk belongs to Takehito Inoue and those songs above belong to their respective animes. [pic]  
  
  
  
~*~... Dreams ...~*~  
  
  
  
**Kourin**  
  
I really didn't care what happened to that stupid damned couple or what became of them. Oh well, I guess I didn't deserve him. Or did I? There was a certain blankness inside of my head--- no in my heart. He was missing. I don't know. But having someone else and not him was so--- different. I used to have real problems about him--- and her. How the hell shouldn't I be?  
  
Love has been so much pain to me. I keep myself from falling ever again. But I still did. I fell for him. Koshino Hiroaki. His brilliant jet-black hair, his beautiful cobalt-blue eyes, his confident smile... He's almost everything I've dreamed about. The way he wore that number 6 jersey and ran around that basketball court, it's like he's the only one there.  
  
I love him. I love him so much. Late at night, as the cold winds shattered upon the windows of my room, I wake up and remember him. I was dreaming of him again.  
  
Once, in a cold night of December. I sat bolt upright, trying to remember my dream. I was alone at the playground, crying and lamenting about my father. Asking all the questions that bothered my simple mind. "Kourin! Kourin!" Suddenly, a voice was calling me. Then I looked up. He was there. Offering his hand to me with a slight gesture. I took his hand in mine.   
  
The scene then changed to a late spring when I was eating my lunch alone on the shade of a sakura tree. Beautiful pink sakura flowers fell from it's branches with their blossoming scent everywhere. Then, there he was again, sitting down beside me, telling jokes and simple stories that made my heart fly.  
  
The scene again changed when I was alone on the park again. Sitting alone when a person suddenly dragged me to the forest. The person started hitting me, scolding me and cursing me. I closed my eyes tighter. The voice sounded familiar. It was my mother.  
  
But then a bright light shone and I saw his smile. Koshino's smile. Koshino then kneeled in front of me and hugged me. My eyes were wet with tears. Nothing could ever explain the feeling of being enveloped in his arms. So warm, so caring. But then everything darkened. All I saw was the evil and laughing faces of my mother and my classmates. Scorning me, taunting me, cursing me.  
  
I opened my eyes with a start. It was all just a dream. My grandfather came in and looked at me. Comforted me as I cried. And just that moment, I felt safe.  
  
But the next day, he died. He died because of a heart attack. I didn't help but cry. There was no one with me again. The only person that loved me and understood me for who I was, died. My grandfather died. God, why do you have to do this to me? I'm all alone. With no one to help me, no one to care for me.  
  
Why did he have to die? Why did he have to leave me? Why? There were so many questions in the depths of my heart that I couldn't even explain what's in it. The feeling of being so alone, The feeling of losing someone that's so close to your heart... I--- I don't want it!!!  
  
Why do I have to lose everything? Why do I have to lose the last person that even cared for me like this? Why do I have to experience so much pain in my heart? Why?! Damn it!  
  
Why do I have to be so forsaken? Why do I have to be left alone? Why do I have to live my life this way? I mean, I'm living a conceited life. I'm living for nothing. What can I do? Unless I complain, I guess I'll just shut my stupid mouth and carry on. Carry on living my life in vain. With nothing to live for. With no cause whatsoever. There's nothing I can even do. Nothing.  
  
  
  
A/N: How true and ever so sad... Reviews pleez? And can anyone get me another tissue? *sniff sniff* I can relate to everything Kourin feels. 


	4. The Cause

~*~... Heaven Knows ...~*~  
  
by: say-chan  
  
~*~... silent assassin ...~*~  
  
pairing: Koshino / Kourin  
  
genre: hopefully a tearjerker, angst  
  
inspiration: Daijoubu from Boys Be, I Wish & Inoru Aishiteru from Fushigi Yuugi, Carry On from Hunter X Hunter (OAV) and Scarlet from Ayashi no Ceres  
  
Spoiler: This is so crappy. I mean it.  
  
Synopses: Fame, fortune, glory. One thing a geek like her could never have. But why is the world so cruel to her? Why are her loved ones so hard to reach? But it was proved wrong... Everything changed.**Kourin: Is fate playing with my destiny? Or is my destiny supposed to be ruined by fate?**  
  
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk belongs to Takehito Inoue and those songs above belong to their respective animes.  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~... The Cause ...~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
**Kourin**  
  
One day, like the any others, I was sitting alone at the porch, with no one. Dried leaves fluttered everywhere at the deserted dojo. The wind was playing with my jet black hair. I remembered my grandfather. It has been 2 months since he died, but I still can't forget him. Tears trickled down my face as he entered my mind again.  
  
Why does everything feel so blank? Why do I feel so despised? Why do I need to feel this way? Why do I need to suffer these kinds of consequences? Why does my life have to be this cruel? Why do I have to be so alone? GOD, DAMN IT!!! I feel so much hatred like I want to rip my heart out this very instant and die. But I don't have enough courage to even dare. Why do I feel like almost everyone's taking all the strength in me? Why do I feel so weak when I see their faces? Why am I so afraid when someone stared at me? Why does it have to crush my spirits and minimize my courage? Why do I have to feel like this? Is this a curse that I have to burden my life with? Why is it when everything seems so close, they're too far for me to reach? Is fate playing with my destiny? Or is my destiny supposed to be ruined by fate?  
  
*No my dear.* I heard his calm voice again. My grandfather's. *It is called life. If you let those people crush your spirits then you don't deserve to live... But you do.*  
  
What if I really don't? What if I'm destined to have the world's cruelty on my back? Why do I hurt other people when I don't even mean to? With just a simple stare? Why is it when I don't even give my own opinion they think I'm mad? Why does this hell they call life hurt so much?  
  
*Of course it hurts... You're not the only one who lives to survive... Some live on people's hatred, pain and loneliness... You just have to go on with you so-called destiny and live your life as you see it.*  
  
I don't feel like I want to live in this kind of environment. Everything feels so blank, so empty. I feel so alone. As if everyone wants me to die. As if everyone wants me alone to suffer. Oji-chan, I want to die.  
  
*Aren't you afraid of hell?* The question made me quiver and sent me thinking. I am not afraid of hell because I'm living like it now. *You'll never imagine.* I have experienced. *Stop living like this, Kourin.* What am I to do? *I have to go now.* Wait! Oji-chan! I want to go with you! Let me die! Don't leave me alone! Oji-chan!  
  
I stood up. My mind was playing tricks with me again. Stop living like this, Kourin. Those words were echoing in my mind. Ringing over and over. What did my grandfather mean? What was I to do about it? I sighed. Is it really okay for me? Is it really okay if I let myself be destroyed by those people? But that was my life. It was everything I've hated. Now it's coming to me. Why?  
  
A few weeks after, someone came with a knock on the door. A young gentleman was standing on the door, carrying a bouquet of roses. Brilliant azure blue eyes and radiant jet-black hair. I looked up. My black hair clinging onto my tear-stricken face. Then--- I fainted.  
  
I woke up some time later. It was about midnight. I saw a very blurry sight of him. Koshino Hiroaki. Tending me and taking care of me. I felt the touch of a cold, moist towel hit my forehead. My jade green eyes glistened in the darkness as crystal tears fell from it. 'Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?' I asked. Koshino looked at me with a smile on his face. 'This is not heaven yet. And I'm no angel.' 'Oh, so It's still the plain old Ningenkai is it? So then, who are you? I haven't got any food or money. Take all you want.' 'Is that what you think I am?' 'No one really cares for me, who would?' 'Someone you really don't know yet.' 'The devil? I've known him all my life.' 'Why are you like that Kourin? Why do you hate the world so much?' 'Because the world has been bringing me nothing but suffering since I knew it.'  
  
Koshino stopped at my words. 'It's not like that...' he began to say. 'Then how is it? Koshino, I won't fall for any of your practical jokes or anything. Please just go.' I said, pointing out to the door. 'I won't go.' he said firmly. I stood up but dizziness still overcame me. I fell down in his arms.  
  
There was silence for about 10 minutes. Then he broke it when he said 'I know it's really like that Kourin, but is it really okay that they do those things to you?' 'No, you don't know half of it.' 'I have known, Kourin, believe me.' 'Why would I?' 'I care for you, Kourin, open your heart. There are a lot of people who do.' 'You're joking Koshino.' 'I'm not.'  
  
It was the first time I ever heard those words come out from anybody's mouth. I thought nobody cared. But here he was. The guy I least expected to care for me, to even know me, telling me he cares. Koshino. 'So you really...?' I asked. Koshino didn't reply. But unexpectedly, he hugged me.  
  
The feeling was incomparable. Nothing could ever replace what I was feeling now. The warmth of care, the tenderness of love, the sweetness of concern. It was all I could ever imagine. All I could ever dream about. All that I could ever desire.  
  
And for the first time ever in my entire life... I felt that chill down my spine that I was waiting for. That feeling that makes my heart beat fast. He gave it to me. Koshino Hiroaki.  
  
A/N: Fine, fine. Is this the end? Nope. Happiness doesn't last forever. Or does it? Await Kourin's fate in the epilogue. Yeah, Koshino's, too. Credits to Kuroro for doing the dialogue of 'oji-chan'. ^-^ Do I really have to continue this? *scratches head* Reviews pleez?? Oh, yeah. The next chapter will probably be the last. --say 


	5. Epilogue

~*~... Heaven Knows ...~*~  
  
by: say-chan  
  
~*~... silent assassin ...~*~  
  
pairing: Koshino / Kourin  
  
genre: hopefully a tearjerker, angst  
  
inspiration: Daijoubu from Boys Be, I Wish & Inoru Aishiteru from Fushigi Yuugi, Carry On from Hunter X Hunter (OAV) and Scarlet from Ayashi no Ceres  
  
Spoiler: This is so crappy. I mean it.  
  
Synopses: Fame, fortune, glory. One thing a geek like her could never have. But why is the world so cruel to her? Why are her loved ones so hard to reach? But it was proved wrong... Everything changed.**Kourin: Is fate playing with my destiny? Or is my destiny supposed to be ruined by fate?**  
  
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk belongs to Takehito Inoue and those songs above belong to their respective animes.  
~*~... Epilogue - Truth beneath all Lies ...~*~  
  
  
**Koshino**  
  
I was happy. And so was she. She made me who I am now. And I made her happy. Those days when we were together... They never lasted. All those happy moments... They all --- disappeared in my memory that day. We loved each other. But as God had planned, it didn't last. What was once up must come down, right? But why? Why did this have to happen to me? To my Kourin? I admit, she was truly heaven-sent. But why her?  
  
Our love was strong. Strong as it could ever be. Nothing could even stop it from happening. Yet--- it couldn't survive. Or could it? I know I haven't been a good friend to her. Everything was just so busy with basketball practices along the way. But I did find time for her. I had time allotted just for HER. But then... I don't know if it was enough for her. Maybe I wasn't caring for her. Maybe I wasn't so thoughtful to her. Maybe I just didn't give that much attention to her. Maybe I didn't give much effort in protecting her.  
  
Perhaps God saw this. But why did she have to suffer instead of me? I didn't protect her. But why? It's so unreasonable that she has to face all those consequences just for me. She had lived a very painful life and I knew it. But why? Is it because I didn't have the courage to tell her how I feel? I didn't let her know. That's why--- she believed that I never liked her at all. Uso! It's all lies! I loved her. I loved Kourin. That's why--- she never became mine. That's why I lost the girl I loved. Because I lied.  
  
I lost her. I lost Kourin.  
  
~*~ Flashback ~*~  
  
'Hiro-kun, hayaku ne!' her voice was still ringing in my head as I remembered that fateful day. Her smile glowed to the light of the sun. The smile I never saw before. Those past few years were a burden to her. But she was still smiling. There was no doubt about it. I was the cause of her happiness. We crossed the street, Kourin was running right in front of me. She stopped at the middle of the road to wait for me. 'Hai, hai, itooshi.' I said with a smile. 'Itooshi? Hiro-kun... Wakarimasen desu ne...'   
  
I was about to tell her about what I said but words were stuck in my throat like they never want to let Kourin hear what I have to say. I loved her. I loved Kourin. But unknown to us, something was bound to happen. And it wasn't good. Was fate supposed to be this cruel to us?  
  
Her scream echoed throughout my head, pounding my eardrums into pieces. The beeping sound of a rushing car was smashing my heart into bits that I can't even feel. Blood. Crimson blood was in my hands as I held her. I picked her up and dashed he to the nearest hospital.  
  
'What do you mean she can't make it?' I asked the doctor, gripping his white coat with my scarlet hands, tears spilling from my eyes. 'She lost too much blood. She is in the state of coma and I don't think she can make it through.' 'What? And you can't do anything about it?!'  
  
There was no use talking to that stupid doctor about it. The moon shone through a crack on the window and the rays fell on her pale face. I couldn't help but cry. She meant so much to me like I meant that much to her, more than much. I love her. 'I love you, Kourin.'  
  
She stirred from the motionless state I found her. 'Hiro-kun' she whispered on that dark night. I gripped her hand tight. 'Kourin, I don't want to lose you.' 'Honto? I heard the doctors say that I wouldn't live long.' 'Why would you believe those d'ahos? You know You're gonna live.' 'Hiro...' 'Hai?' 'I want you to know that I appreciate what you've given to me. Arigato ne.' 'Iie. I'm the one who's supposed to thank my megami-sama for bringing what I've always wanted. 'Nanda kora?' 'You.'  
  
I never took his eyes off her as I leaned forward. She wrapped her arms around my neck, giving in to my temptation and closing jade green eyes. And with that I leaned forward as our lips met. I heard her contented sigh as I plunged deeper into the kiss. My tongue glided onto her mouth tasting every sweetness inside of her. Draining every drop of satisfaction in her.  
  
I pulled away from her but I saw those brilliant green eyes filled with tears. She clutched my hand with a tight grip. 'Koshino, when I die, promise me you won't cry.' 'Kourin? Please stop saying those-' 'I'll never forget you, Koshino. I'll always look after you, I'll always be there.' she wiped her tears away but another round replaced them. 'Kourin? What are you saying? Kourin?!' 'Koshino-kun, I'll never ever forget you-' I hugged her tight. Her words were too deep and I couldn't take it anymore. Her eyes that once gave a cheerful gleam to me, were weak and vulnerable. Was I the cause of her sadness?  
  
'Stop it. Yamette kudasai.' I whispered in her ear. She buried her face on my chest. Then I heard her whisper. 'I love you Koshino. Thank-' Her sentence was cut. I pulled her away from me. Her eyelids were closed and she was smiling peacefully. 'Iie, Kourin, chigaru...' I shook her body but it was left motionless. My whole body shivered as I looked down at her. 'Kourin, don't leave me... Don't leave me! Aishiteru!!! Kourin!!!' I shouted as hospital interns entered the ward and pulled me away from her. 'Kourin... Don't leave me...' I whispered to myself.  
  
~*~ End Flashback ~*~  
  
Tears fell from my eyes like the droplets of rain spilling on the umbrella I was holding. I was staring at her tombstone with a hopeless look on my face. Why? Why did she had to leave me? This is all wrong. I had to see red smiling face again. But I had to get it over with. It's been 3 months since she died. But how can I even forget an angel that touched my heart. Why didn't I die instead of her? Why did it have to be Kourin?  
  
AT that time, I felt the loneliness she was feeling years before. I felt it and it hit me straight in the heart. Like it was tearing it to pieces. I didn't know she felt this much pain in her past life. Why? Why did she have to experience it? Why is fate playing with her destiny? Why? Why did she die instead of me?!  
  
All my questions were answered as a gust of strong wind rusted through the trees. My umbrella was blown away with this breeze but I didn't run away and get it. Because there was someone in front of me. It was her. It was Kourin.  
  
I rushed to her and stopped inches right before her face. 'Kourin, I---' Her cold lips touched mine that sent some strong feeling that was tingling in my spine. I heard her voice. 'Hiro-kun, I've missed you so much. As much as I want to bring you with me, I can't. It just isn't your time yet. Pain and suffering. That's not all I felt. Because I had you. As you said, you just have to open your heart. Realize what's on your surroundings. Because the most likely person will come by and touch your life. Like you did to mine.'   
  
I didn't hesitate no longer. I had to let her know what I feel. 'Kourin, I love you.' Those words I said made great impact to her as she hugged me tight. A bright light shone behind her as she moved farther and farther away from me. 'I know, Hiro-kun. I'll see you soon...'  
  
That was my last dream. All just a dream. But I did not regret it. Because after a few hours, I was standing right in front of those white gates of heaven. They opened and a blinding light shone upon me. I saw people with white clothes on, robes of silk and belts of golden rope.  
  
I stepped inside. It felt so warm. So, it was heaven. I saw Kourin standing in front of her smiling father and of course, her oji-chan. I ran to her direction and hugged her tight.  
  
Again, there was something that blinded us with a golden silvery light that came from above. God was standing right in front of us with a smile.  
  
'It's not pain and suffering that you find in your life. Those colors of black, white and gray will soon give in to the real colors of what you call life. Pain is just the beginning. For what I planned for you is far more colorful and magnificent than you can ever imagine.'  
  
It was then I understood. It was all planned before us. Now I know why. And I know Kourin did, too. With her smile I end my life.  
A/N: Okay, who let my sensitive side flow out to Kourin? Aww... Yeah, It's me. My soft and sentimental side. Thanks to some of the people I just couldn't mention... I had really big problems and I'm glad it's fixed. So, I hope you like this. I vented it all out in Kourin. Well, it's still a happy ending. Thanks for the support. I'll make a sad ending soon. I'm sorry for being so crappy. If you hate me, flame me. Please review. Hahahaha! Say-chan's back in the biz! Summer here I come! Hehe. tnx to joy, chinaeyes, azure, raven, twin ah baztah TO ALL!!! THANX!! MUAH!! -say =p 


	6. Translations

~*~... Translations ...~*~  
  
  
  
Hai./Hai? - Yes./Yes?  
  
Chigaru / Masaka ni- It can't be. / Impossible  
  
Aishiteru - I LOVE YOU  
  
Wakarimasen desu - I don't understand  
  
Iie - No  
  
Yamette - Stop  
  
Kudasai / Onegai - Please  
  
Megami-sama - Angel / goddess  
  
Koibito / Itooshi - My love, darling, sweetheart, etc... a term of endearment  
  
Hayaku - Faster  
  
Ne - a term used for agreement.  
  
Kun - used for calling people's names esp. boys  
  
Oji-chan - Grandpa  
  
Arigato - Thank You  
  
Uso - No, It's not like that. / It's all lies  
  
Nanda Kora? - What is it?  
  
Ningenkai - Earth  
  
Sakura - Cherry Blossoms (a tree usually found in Japan)  
  
Dojo - A place where traditional Japanese people live  
  
Kanagawa and Hokkaido - places / provinces in Japan  
  
Honto?/Honto. - Really?/Really.  
  
D'aho - Asshole (a trademarked quote from Rukawa Kaede) 


End file.
